Why is she not weariny my ring?

Dear Christine,
SOMETHING HAS been troubling me lately and I'd rather come to you with it than go to any of my family. It has to do with something I've been noticing. Christine, several times I have picked up my wife unexpectedly from work and every time I notice she's not wearing her wedding ring. I don't want to make an issue of it by asking her why, but do you think there may be a reason for its absence? I always thought our marriage was happy and secure but now I am beginning to wonder. Christine, I am not from Barbados but am here spending some time with my relatives. I'd appreciate it if you would respond no later than mid-April. Thanks.– C.H. Source: NationNews.com

Dear C. Hole,
Buddy, this woman is definitely cheating. I just looked into my crystal balls which explained to me that the ONLY reason she could POSSIBLY have her ring off is because she is doing dirty overtime with the boss. So i'm glad you came to me, since investigating for yourself or ASKING your wife would never work. Mix with her friends from the office... flirt with them and see what happen, cuz if since she cheating, she telling them that you are her brother, so one gine bite de bait. If she start to get itchy, END the relationship immediately... makes no sense even discussing it, since the 2 of we know what she doing already. But the court doesn't have as much faith in my crystal ball.. so make sure you burn down the house, draw off all the money off the bank account, kidnap the kids and head to a small pacific island where you can live out the rest of your natural life in a hut drinking sea water and eating crab. Do what i tell you! Before you go tho, email me her cell number so i can uhh... cuss her for you when you are gone. :D

*After reading this post, 11 idiot men will act on my advice... *sigh*... 11 more angry women to contend with. COMMUNICATE PEOPLE!