Judge blames crime on alcohol promotion

A HIGH COURT JUDGE has lambasted businesses that pour money into alcohol promotion instead of channelling those funds into remedial education.
"How many more must die," asked Mr Justice Christopher Blackman yesterday, "or be injured in the cause of the promotion of cheap alcohol?"
Speaking in the No. 4 Supreme Court as he sentenced three of four partygoers (Goodridge, Leacock, Gould and Sealy) who attended a Guinness Rush Hour fete at Ellerton, St George, in September 2002, and ended up slashing and stabbing a man (Marshall) to death, the judge said that was one of the issues that troubled him about the case....
Another man, a cousin to one of the convicted men, was also shot and injured by Marshall. It was those circumstances that led Goodridge, Leacock, Gould and Sealy to chase down and attack Marshall in a dark St George gully, stabbing and slashing him until they severed his right hand. Source: www.nationnews.com

That's right... blaaame the Guinness ^{Works for you}. The article also said that every man entering the jam consumed a Guinness^burp!.. yet still only these 4 RELATED men committed violent acts against ONE man who had previously SHOT their cousin. Can you reaaaally blame the Guinness^{Buy One Today} for that? I mean unless they were giving away the Guinness^{Ahhhh! :)} with a complementary sword or knife, I assume these guys brought their own weapons of choice BEFORE even having their mouths dimmed by the shadow of a Guinness^{Good things come to those who..} bottle. How are these businesses going to channel the money towards education? "Yes yes.. come to our big jam! Get a Charlotte Bronte Book for $2!" Well, I guess the 17 persons who attend will find it quite entertaining indeed. These men were violent because of their personalities, characters, upbringing, influences, experiences, peers and whatever else is responsible for we being either nice or nasty.... either that or their puppy died when they were 4 and they never got a teddy bear for Christmas. They however, drank the Guinness^Wukking! simply cuz they were thirsty. :D If anything, you could say that these fetes attract bad persons, not that because they consumed the beverage they did x y or z.

*After reading this post, 19,809 persons will tune in to the Guinness^Respect! rush hour (which is really 3 hours) and hold their mouths and say haw haw when they hear Chihuahua Buinesss Man curse on public radio.